Are you happy with your life?

How often do we find ourselves day-dreaming during work or simply while sipping tea in the garden? If you are anything like me, I guess the answer is – quite often. We think about the vacation that we have always wanted to take or the bucket list that you wrote down when you were very inspired one Sunday afternoon or simply wanting to turn your hobby into a business plan. We wish we could have done this or that and how unrealistic all of it seems now because you have exams to study for, office work pending on your desk, children to take care of and the ‘why-I-can’t-do-it now-list’ goes on and on.

We often blame our situations or people around us for the goals we couldn’t achieve, the passions we couldn’t pursue. But could there be another side to why our wish-list tends to be just a “wish-list”?

Let’s look at it this way – How many people does it take to conceive a dream? One. You. How many people or approvals do you need to go forward and live that dream? – One. YOU. Then why do we tend to paralyze ourselves from turning that “wish-list” into a “done-and-dusted-list”?

The answer is – fear.

We fear failure. Failing at the said task, failing to seek approval of people around us. Remind yourself how often you’ve stopped yourself from doing something only because of that one thought – “What will the society think of me?” We wait to seek validation from our parents, friends and the society in general. We tend to forget that in the end, we’re only answerable to ourselves. Failing isn’t the destination. It is just a representation of your bravery which made you want to try. Like the famous quote says, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” So if you have not tried, you have failed anyway. Isn’t it much better to take that chance and try to do what you want to? 🙂

Now, if you are the kind to not worry about what anyone thinks, first of all, a pat on your back. In spite of the carefree attitude, if you still find yourself wasting your Monday laying on a couch, wrapped in a blanket or working in an air-conditioned office that you can’t wait to leave at 5 PM, you have got to understand, you are doing something wrong. If you are going to tell me, you have bills to pay and cannot afford to pursue your hobby or set up your business that you have wanted to for the past five years, let me share with you a self-assessment test I learned from a well-known entrepreneur, Gary Vaynerchuck.

So here’s what you’ve got to do –

• Divide how you spend your 24 hours. Say, you have a 9-5 job.
• That takes up 8 hours of your day.
• 1 hour for commuting to and from work.
• You cannot do without 7 hours of beauty sleep – done.
• Family is a priority, yeap! So you spend 2 hours with them.

Sounds like a decent life, doesn’t it? And you still have 6 hours left. This is where your analysis begins. What do you do in these 6 hours? If you are not dedicating this time to work on your goals, you are not doing justice to your potential. So START. Start making the best of what you have. Start striking things off that wish-list.

My dear dreamers, don’t just dream. DO. This is my first ever blog and this is my leap. What about you?:)

Share your comments below! Thank you for reading! =D

I am depressed but they don’t know about it.

The other day, I sat by myself sipping coffee in the balcony. It was one of those evenings when the cold, gentle breeze compelled me to have a little chat with nature. The large tree outside my balcony was swaying softly, as if dancing to the rhythm of the wind. As I gulped another sip, I looked at the coffee mug as a thought passed through my head – “Coffee is slow poison”.  I just let out a small laugh, ignored the thought and took another sip. A few moments later, I found another thought knocking inside, interrupting my conversation with the dancing tree. Like a mother being constantly tugged at by her kid in a candy shop, I had no option but to pay attention to it. Here’s what the thought said to me- “More often than not, we know what is good for our well-being and what is not and despite of it we choose to stick to bad choices.”

Depression is like coffee. It’s slow poison. (No offence to the coffee-lovers!)  We know it’s harmful, we know where it will lead us, but we refuse to acknowledge its bad impact on us. And so, there we sit, gulping depression sip by sip, everyday of our lives.

Depression doesn’t have a face. You could be standing right next to it – could be a stranger, friends, teachers, colleagues or your parents/ kids and you still won’t recognize depression. Depression is the new era epidemic. It is affecting the majority of us and at an astonishing pace. But, depression isn’t the problem that needs our prime focus. What needs our attention is the reasons behind why we do not openly speak about it.

When a majority follows something, it becomes a set of unwritten rules. Here’s a few rules that our society seems to be following –

1. Crying in front of others is not okay
2. Boys don’t cry
3. Talking too much about your emotions means you are not independent
4. You cannot afford to be depressed because you have a family to look after
5. If you are diagnosed with depression, you won’t be accepted by the society

All these reasons and so many more, emerge from the wrong belief systems we surround ourselves with. We have programmed ourselves to follow these illogical set of rules. We find it easier to turn a blind eye towards our mental health instead of looking for help. The heartbreaking reality of the world we live in today is that we are more aware of the stigma attached to depression than depression itself.

Day-after-day, we continue to let our stress and depression control our mood and health and eventually fall prey to the belief that it is a part and parcel that comes along with having a human life. We make peace with having to bottle up our feelings and crying behind closed doors. We fail to make peace with our mind and health.  We teach ourselves to suppress our emotions, paste a smile and very smoothly deliver a robotic reply – “I’m fine”, every time someone asks how you are doing.

Through this article I do not intend to teach you how to deal with depression for I hold no expertise in treating it. I may or may not know you personally, I may or may not know how you’ve been feeling lately but this is my way of reaching out to you, to tell you that –

It is okay to feel sad longer than you thought you would be. It is okay that you think life’s being tough on you. It is okay to be, hurt, angry, upset. It is okay to feel what you feel. IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.  IT IS OKAY TO BE DEPRESSED.

But it’s NOT okay to neglect your mental health.  It’s NOT okay to avoid asking for help. It’s NOT okay to feel you won’t be accepted or understood.  It’s NOT okay to think nobody will listen to you.

 I am here, I am listening.

If you are in need of help or know someone who is fighting depression, feel free to contact me and together we will find a way. ♥

Please feel free to share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section below.  Thank you! =)

4 easy steps to a happy life – Must try.

 

You can own a million-dollar business, live in the most expensive mansion, and it still won’t guarantee happiness. No amount of riches or power can protect you from the uncertainties of life. If only money could buy us a ticket to the future!

We cannot undo what’s done but should that lead us to fear the future? From life-coaches and motivational speakers to elders in the family and friends, we have all heard them say, at least once–

 “What’s gone is gone” or

 “Que Sera, Sera” (Whatever will be, will be)

These two mantras actually sum up the definition of happiness and peaceful living. All our worries are wrapped as regrets from the past or worries of the future. The funny thing is neither is in our control. And yet, we invest maximum of our energy, emotions and time trying to fight the rules of the universe when all we are expected to do is live in harmony with it.

Now since we are aware of the problem, finding a solution is no rocket science.

• Let’s first deal with the devil called “past” –

No matter what your regret is, what mistakes you have committed – knowingly or unknowingly, the following 3-step guide is all that you have to follow. It’s easy, free and guarantees taking that burden of regrets right off your shoulders if you sincerely follow it. So here is what you have to do –

• Step 1-ACCEPTANCE. Accept the past. Accept the situation. Accept your actions and intentions. Accept that it has happened and cannot be undone.
• Step 2 – Take RESPONSIBILITY for it. Avoid blaming others and try to analyze how you can handle it better if a similar situation was to arise again.

All the solutions are hidden in our everyday activities. For example – What do you do when you are done sipping juice from a can? Do you take the empty can with you everywhere you go? No, right? You dispose it because that’s where the empty can is supposed to be. Once we have learnt a lesson from a particular incident in our life, it turns into an empty can. And that empty can is REGRETS; and folks, where does the empty can belong? – Trash. So put it there. That brings us to –

• Step 3 – LETTING GO. Self-awareness plays a key role here. Be aware of the thoughts you allow in your mind. Every time you catch yourself thinking about what could have been done differently – stop yourself. Remind yourself of the lesson and change the course of your thoughts. Let go of the pain and hurt attached to the incident.

Make it a habit to follow this 3-step mantra and you will surely notice the burden being taken off your shoulders.

Now moving on to dealing with the fear of uncertainties, fear of the “future”-

Firstly, all those of us who manage to worry about the things that haven’t even happened and might not happen at all, deserve a monument dedicated to our capability of unnecessary worrying. Been there, done that. I have known what it’s like to create an endless chain of thoughts on how everything could go wrong. I almost won a Ph.D. in over-thinking. But after all the sleepless nights and days spent fearing “tomorrow”, I came out with nothing. ZERO. NADA.

But here’s great news for the community of “Over-thinkers” –It’s possible to put an end to the habit of constant worrying. And it’s an easy 1-step formula.

• FOCUS ON THE PRESENT. Be occupied with what you love to do and do it with complete dedication. Will you rent your house to so burglars? Pessimism and fear are the burglars who steal your joy and peace if you let them occupy your mind. If your mind is full of positive things and your focus is on the present, there is no place for the joy-stealing negative thoughts.

ONE LIFE. Don’t let this beautiful life pass you by while juggling between the past and the future. Live – TODAY.

Feel free to share your experiences, suggestions or questions in the comments below. I would love to hear from you. Happy living, fellas! ♥